obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
