I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
organizing the empties. That sober.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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