would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
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Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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