I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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