That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize