I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
