it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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