I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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