My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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