he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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