Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
