i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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