I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
