Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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