fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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