I think i sorta joined a cult last night
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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