Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
