Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
he high fived his dick after we had sex
How naked do you want me to be?
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