Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
