There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
handjob tips. give me some.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
