Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Damn victory sex feels great
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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