Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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