yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
