No stitches, just platelets and will power
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
