i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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