just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
