FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
