so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
