We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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