What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
