how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
