just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
