The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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