My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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