She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
