I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Randomize