Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
