K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
