i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
