she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
