dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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