I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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