I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
