Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
