i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
