she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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