Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
