What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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