I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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