and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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