You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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