The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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