so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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