I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
