just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize