I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
