We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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